The Rainbow Wizard carefully packed away his guitar in its case, and
closed the lid. He hefted the case easily in one hand, and smiled sweetly at
Flower. “I had a wonderful time this evening,” he said, “And I hope that we
can do it again sometime soon.”
“Oh, I’d like that,” Flower replied, picking up her own guitar. “It
was wonderful meeting you. I was beginning to feel like I wasn’t going to make
any friends here at all. Well, goodnight!” With a wave, she turned and was
gone, guitar case banging against her knees as she strode toward the elevator.
The Rainbow Wizard watched her leave, his smile contemplative in a
manner only practiced by those in the Messiah business. After a long moment,
he sighed gustily and turned to Mary Magdalene, who’d packed her guitar away
and was standing with her arms crossed, looking at him with an expression that
would curdle fresh milk.
He smiled at her disarmingly. “What’s wrong, my love?”
Mary Magdalene didn’t even wind up. One strong fist came up in a blur
and caught the Rainbow Wizard right in the gut. He stumbled backward one or
two steps with a grunt of pain, stumbled over a coffee table, and fell
backward onto it, then onto the couch behind it, with a clatter.
Thud, who was idly playing a round of cribbage with himself in the
corner, raised an eyebrow at that. Definitely unstable, he thought wearily. He
should’ve seen it coming.
“I hope you’re satisfied,” Mary Magdalene hissed. “You fucking lecher!
I’d rip your nuts off and feed them to the fish, if they’d eat them!”
“What’s the–oof–matter with you, Mary? What’d I do?” The Rainbow
Wizard scrambled to his feet clumsily. He ran after Mary Magdalene as she
grabbed her coat and stormed out the front doors of the Habitat, fuming.
“Hey, Wiz! What about your guitars?” Thud called.
“Please keep them in your room, Thud. I’ll retrieve them later. This
is much more important,” the Rainbow Wizard called over his shoulder. He was
out the door in an instant, gone in a blast of cold air.
Thud watched them go, and sighed. He began to gather up his cards.
Time to call it a night, I guess, he thought. No more fun stuff to watch.
Mary Magdalene was walking at full steam, her back stiff and her eyes
straight forward as she crossed the campus, heading for the northern edge of
Arcadia’s campus. Behind her, the Rainbow Wizard stumbled through the snow,
calling, “MARY MAGDALENE, WAIT! PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG!”
At those words, Mary Magdalene stopped dead in her tracks and slowly
turned to face the Rainbow Wizard as he caught up with her, panting. The sound
of a party in another of the dorms carried faintly over the snowy field as he
stopped just out of her reach, shivering in the wind.
“Tell you what’s wrong?” Her whisper was thick with disbelief. “Tell
you WHAT’S WRONG? YOU STEAMING SHIT! HOW DARE YOU?” The whisper turned into a
shriek in the space of a half sentence. “Do you think I’m blind? Or just
stupid! I SAW you tonight, the whole fucking NIGHT, drooling all over that
little cunt like a goddamned sled dog in heat! You motherfucking HYPOCRITE!”
“SHUT UP!” Her eyes were wild in the dim moonlight, and spittle flew
from her lower lip. She paused for a sobbing breath, and continued in a choked
monotone. “Three years I sat with you, you son of a bitch. Three YEARS! Every
other girl in the goddamned high school was out having a normal life, going on
dates, having REAL boyfriends, and I just sat in a chair by a hospital bed
waiting for you to open your eyes and tell me you loved me one last time
before you DIED!” She gasped for breath. “I watched them open you up and haul
out your insides! I watched them fill you with chemicals and shoot you full of
radiation and I watched your h-h-hair fall out and I listened to them t-tell
m-me that y-y-you were g-g-gonna DIE….” She fell to her knees and buried her
face in her hands, crying hysterically.
The Rainbow Wizard reached out and gently laid a hand on her shoulder.
She shrugged away from it roughly, not looking up. “No, don’t pull away,” he
said calmly. “Are you trying to tell me that’d you’d rather I’d died?”
“No,” she sighed into her hands, her sobs subsiding a bit.
“It sounds that way to me,” he continued. “It sounds like you’re
blaming me for wasting an awful lot of your life that you could have spent
elsewhere, doing other things. If I’d died….”
“Oh, shut up,” Mary Magdalene whispered.
“No, I won’t. This is important to you, or you wouldn’t have hurt me
that way.” His tone never wavered, a perfect psychiatrist’s drone, comforting
and insistent. “Where would you be if I were dead? Would you be happier?”
“N-no.” Mary Magdalene slowly got to her feet. Her knees were soaked
through and freezing, and she shivered under her coat.
“We both know what you did for fun before you and I got together,” the
Rainbow Wizard said sternly. “I don’t consider hanging out at the Palladium
and trying to get into the music business from the mattress up to be a
terribly rewarding future, do you?”
“That’s not FAIR!” Mary Magdalene sniffled. “I was making FRIENDS in
the business! I had CONTACTS! I…I….” Her head came up proudly. “I gave
some of those visiting musicians the best times they’d ever HAD!”
“And are you a better person for it?”
She glared at him, her eyes dark pits of rage.
“Why were you so angry at me tonight?”
“You know damn well why I was angry at you! Why I’m STILL angry at
you! Where the hell do you get off doing the romantic warrior routine with
that sawed-off little twat? She’s NOTHING! Just a stuck-up brat from Crystal
City who seems to think she can just waltz in and waltz out with MY MAN!”
“Your man?” His soft voice carried the faintest hint of danger.
“You’re–damn–RIGHT!” She jerked a thumb up, pointing at herself.
“Stand there and tell yourself you’d be alive to CHASE that little shit if I
hadn’t brought you through this! I wouldn’t make fun of you when your hair
grew back a different color, I held your hand while you puked up the whole
damn medicine chest, I changed your bedpans–hell, I even changed your I.V. a
couple of times when the nurses were too busy!” Her tone gradually took on a
note of triumph. “You owe me your life, you stinking cur! If it hadn’t been
for me, you would’ve just given up and DIED! This life you’re living is yours
because I gave it to you and YOU OWE ME! And I will NOT have you sniffing
around at the crotches of every female that passes by! Is that clear?”
The Rainbow Wizard regarded her cautiously. “Very clear,” he said. “I
hadn’t realized that you were so unsure of my love for you that you could
misconstrue what happened tonight. That’s such a shame….”
“Oh, come OFF it! You’re not going to tell me that there was nothing
going on between you– she would’ve stuck her face in your crotch if I hadn’t
been there, and you know it!”
“Yes, maybe she would have,” the Rainbow Wizard nodded. “And you’re
quite convinced that I would have thrown away everything we’ve built and
gleefully let her carry me away?”
Mary Magdalene was silent, her gaze wavering the tiniest bit.
“Are you so convinced that she’s your superior that I couldn’t
possibly resist her,” he persisted. “Are you so sure that I wouldn’t have just
told her, ‘No, my heart belongs to another. You are lovely, but you are not
for me,’ and made her leave it at that?” He shook his head. “That’s the most
depressing news I’ve heard in a long time.” He turned and began to walk back
to the Habitat. “I wonder if the Bandit’s still awake? He’d get a real charge
out of hearing this….”
Mary Magdalene called after him, “Wait!” Her voice was still full of
tears, but now they were tears of misery rather than anger.
“No, I’m cold. I don’t have a jacket,” he said, still walking away.
Mary Magdalene ran the few steps that brought her to his side, and
opened her coat, casting it over his shoulders and drawing him inside it with
her. “Don’t go,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I misjudged you. It just seemed–”
“I know what it must have seemed like,” he said softly, turning to
face her. He slipped his arms around her, and she drew her hands into the coat
sleeves and held it shut behind his back, a warm cocoon enveloping them. “But
if I’m to be denied even the chance to admire a beautiful girl without seeming
a traitor, wouldn’t it be better for me just to be struck blind?”
“Oh, don’t say things like that,” she whispered, and kissed him.
“I love you. Never forget that. I love you.”
“I love you….”
They stood huddled together under her coat, kissing tenderly, for what
seemed like hours. Strange sounds seemed to come from somewhere inside the
coat’s folds: first the clink of a belt buckle, then the distinct zip of a
zipper being opened. Mary Magdalene gasped, then laughed deep in her throat
and kissed the Wizard even harder. Another zipping noise.
“Ooohh,” Mary Magdalene husked. “What are you going to do with THAT?”
“Nothing, if it freezes off,” the Rainbow Wizard smiled.
She laughed and reached up to nibble his ear. “I have a place to keep
it warm,” she whispered. “Hurry.”
The next few moments must have been as funny as hell to watch, as the
coat bounced and flapped a bit around the two bodies jockeying for position.
The edge of the coat whipped open for an instant in the wind, exposing a brief
glimpse of what lay in the shadows: a silky thigh, the black curl of pubic
hair, and something that seemed almost to glow….
Then the pair turned to let the wind blow the coat shut again, and
Mary Magdalene gasped and threw her head back. “UH! YEAH, YEAH!”
Mmmmmmm….” The Rainbow Wizard bent forward and licked her neck as
she drew herself back like a bow in his arms and began to gasp and moan in a
familiar rhythm. Suddenly she went rigid, keening like a wolf as her orgasm
swept over her, heat and bitter cold mingled in the night. She cried out in
ecstasy as he gave a loud grunt and shuddered in her embrace, his eyes shut
and his head lowered with the effort.
For a long while they stood very still, just holding each other. Then,
they straightened up, kissing gently, and the odd buckling and zipping noises
came back. A police car went by on the narrow street, its siren blaring,
causing them to start like frightened deer and cling to one another. Then they
laughed with the release of tension, and turned to leave the field.
“Would you like to go back for your coat?”
“No, I’ll hold you close until we get to your house.”
Conan crunched through the snow toward the brightly lit courtyard that
fronted the Student Union, rubbing his tired eyes. I should know better than
to read stuff like that before going to bed alone, he said disgustedly to
himself. Now I’m gonna have to drink myself into a coma to be able to sleep!
Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor, who’d I think I was kidding?
Students were going in and out of the Union, enjoying the late night
hours of the bar and dance club as a release from studying. Conan caught a
sudden whiff of grilling hamburgers, and his stomach responded with a burbling
growl. Maybe I’ll eat first, he decided ruefully. You can never metabolize
“Let go of me, you pig! LET GO! HEELLLLLPPPP!”
Conan’s head jerked up at the sound of the terrified scream.
“Shut up, you bitch!” The roar of a drunken voice was followed by a
slap and a cry of pain. Conan located the source of the sound; it was a
shadowed area under one of the walkways, famous for private trysts at night.
He kicked into a dead run and was there in bare seconds, his massive legs
covering the distance in the time it took the students nearby in the courtyard
to look around for the source of the scream.
An attractive young woman was struggling on the concrete bench with a
young man who was trying to hold her wrists. Conan grabbed him by the scruff
of the neck and bodily hauled him off of her, then up off the bench.
“Hey, what’s the–” The boy’s voice cut off abruptly as Conan turned
him around and he got a good look at his assailant. He swallowed, then tried
for a shaky smile.
“Leave her alone,” Conan said with a friendly grin.
“Uh, look, man, me and my girlfriend were just–UNGH!” With a sudden
shove, Conan slammed him back bodily against the wall of the underpass.
knocking his breath away.
“Leave, I said,” Conan repeated pleasantly. The boy gained his feet,
gasped for breath, and took off like a spooked raccoon, pushing aside the few
curious students who were just arriving on the scene.
Conan didn’t even watch him leave. He turned his attention to the
girl, who was sitting on the bench, hugging herself and shivering.
“Are you all right? Did he hurt you?” Conan held out a hand to her.
Hesitantly, she took it, and he led her out into the streetlights. There was a
spattering of applause from the few people who’d remained to see what the
ruckus was about.
“Yeah! Conan saves another damsel in distress!”
“Way to go, Conan!”
Conan grinned at the crowd, eating up the applause. His smile died on
his face when he saw the girl clearly in the light. Her eye was rapidly
swelling and turning black as he watched, and she was obviously in a lot of
“Thank you,” she said in a feeble whisper.
“Let me walk you to the hospital,” he replied. “You should get a cold
compress for that eye.”
“Okay,” she nodded. It took an obvious effort, but she smiled.
He offered an arm to her, and said to the crowd, “I’m taking her to
Wright Memorial Trauma Ward. If the Security Squad want a statement, they can
find us there, okay?” There were a few scattered nods of assent.
“Come on.” He smiled at her as she took his arm, and led her around
the Union, toward the highway and the hospital.
The noise and lights in the Clean Room were at their height. Zero
cavorted on the dance floor, his body shaking to the beat as he watched Diva
cut loose. She was squeezed into a spandex leotard in a tiger-stripe pattern
and a pair of skintight black pants, and her eyes were shut as she swayed in
time to the music. Zero’s eyes were fastened on her crotch, and on a small
wedge-shaped bulge that went utterly unnoticed by everyone else in the room,
as did the tiny remote control clutched in his fist and the thin wire that ran
from his hand into the waist of her tights. He gave the power button a gentle
stroke, and watched Diva contort and thrash in what must have seemed a
particularly enthusiastic dance move.
“Oh Lord God Jesus Christ Almighty!” She threw herself at him, biting
his neck and grinding her pelvis against his. He could feel the faint thrum of
the clit-vibe against his penis as she frantically grabbed for the remote.
“Gimme that thing you sonofabitch don’t keep turning it onnanoff yer killing
me my clit’s gonna bust wide open you sonofAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” She hugged him hard
as he gave the power button another jab, and he deftly held it out of her
reach. One or two other people were noticing that Diva appeared a bit too
enthusiastic about the song, and were looking their way with a mixture of
confusion and amusement.
“Time to go, liebchen,” Zero said quietly, flicking the remote off and
leading Diva off the dance floor and through the crowd. She followed along
behind him, still trying to pry the remote from his hands.
A crowd was just dispersing out in the hallway of the Union where the
entrances to the Burger Bar and the Clean Room met; from the broken glassware
and the small spot of blood on the carpet, it looked as if the campus police
had had a rough time with someone in the Bar. But Diva was too far gone to
notice, and Zero was having too much fun torturing her to give the situation
more than a passing glance. He whispered, “Ready to go home?”
“NO NO God no,” Diva moaned, arms about his neck and teeth nibbling at
his Adam’s apple, “I’ll never make it home you gotta do me here you gotta do
me here gimme that thing you sonofabitch I’m dying!” She made one last attempt
to get the remote from him, then gave up and began to rub her hands up and
down the length of his penis, outlined against the crotch of his jeans. Zero
blinked in surprise and did his best to start a nonchalant stroll down the
hall away from the clubs, but Diva kept right beside him, groaning in his ear
and trying to get a hand into his pants. “Gimme Jimi…gimme Jimi….”
Zero nodded politely to an elderly female professor who was walking
by, her flabbergasted eyes on Diva’s busy hands. “Sorry about this,” he said
pleasantly, “She’s had a bit too much to drink.”
“So I see,” said the professor, hurrying by with a sniff.
“You bastard you bastard you BAAAAAAAA!” Diva shrieked and laughed
like a madwoman, both feet leaving the ground for a moment as Zero nudged the
button again. “I’m gonna getcha! I’m gonna–GETCHA!” She suddenly pushed Zero
as hard as she could. Taken by surprise, he stumbled sideways into an open
doorway that led into a small ticket office for the Student Theatre. It was
empty, the cash register unlocked and open; the teller was obviously out for a
moment to deposit the night’s gate in the safe upstairs. Diva slammed Zero up
against the cash register and fell to her knees, frantically tearing at his
belt buckle. In desperation, Zero kicked the door shut behind her and held it
with one outstretched foot. His flailing hand reached over and pulled down the
curtain on the teller window. The last thing he saw was the face of a young
blonde freshman, her eyes bugging out and her mouth agape as she caught a
brief glimpse of Jimi as the curtain went down, and Diva went down right along
She wasn’t in the mood to mess around. One deep breath, a whispered
screech of “Gimme!” and down she went, all the way to the base of his thick,
slick shaft, sucking for all she was worth and screaming around the hardness
filling her mouth and throat. Zero closed his eyes as she bobbed up and down,
up and down.
“C’mon, glbph, you bas, gmmmph, bastard, glmmph, give it, blf, give it
to me, mmmmbl, give it to me, gmllMMMMMM!” Her body went rigid as Zero turned
the vibrator on full power, and she did something neither he nor she was
expecting: she bit down. Hard.
“YYYYEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWTTCHH!” Off went the vibrator, and down into
his chair went Zero, the last vestiges of his selfpreservation instinct
keeping the door firmly shut against the rattling doorknob and clicking key in
“Is somebody in there? Hello?”
Diva’s mouth came off his dick and her eyes were wide and full of
fear. “Oh, Liebchen, did I hurt you? I’m so sorrEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” He flicked on
the vibrator again and she convulsed against him. Zero quickly examined the
damage to Jimi; he was bruised a bit and kind of red at the base, but there
was no blood, and he was thicker and harder than ever. He let out a windy sigh
“Peel,” he whispered.
Diva looked up at him and smiled wickedly. One hard tug, and her
tights were around her knees, exposing her wide, full hips unadorned except
for the red nylon straps that held the buzzing vibrator over her clitoris.
She turned around and presented her wide, smooth rump to him as he stood up.
The door seemed almost about to open with his foot removed from it, but it
slammed shut again as Diva fell against it with her full weight.
“Who’s IN there? Open the damn door!”
Zero spread her ass cheeks and exposed the luscious, drippy folds of
her vulva with one hand, slowly increasing power to the vibrator with the
other. He planted the tip of his dong against her pussy lips, and she mewled
and thrust back against him, sucking him halfway in with a wet slurp. He
slammed his hips forward against her, driving himself into her to the hilt as
he ran the vibrator all the way up the scale.
The remote dropped to the floor, forgotten, as he grabbed her waist
and started slamming into her with everything he had. Diva was screaming,
bucking, going insane from the dual stimulation, and her body slammed against
the door to the ticket office again and again. Finally, he gushed into her
with a groan, and she let out one last long wail as the vibrator, its job
valiantly done, drained its batteries and quietly died.
For a long minute, they just stood there, him leaning back against the
cold metal of the cash register, her bent jacknifed at the waist and sobbing
for breath. He gently withdrew from her, quickly grabbing a spare piece of
paper to wipe himself and her off before pulling up his pants. She smiled
weakly at him, leaning against the pounding door as she rolled up her tights.
He tucked the remote in his pocket, put his arm around her to hide the wire
while she quickly straightened his hair and her own, and opened the door.
“Eeeyesss?” Zero smiled pleasantly at the young lady who was standing
at the door, in front of a small crowd of fascinated onlookers.
“What the hell were you DOING in there?” The crowd burst out laughing
at the question, and the girl blushed crimson. Zero suddenly noticed the girl
who’d seen him through the window, standing with two of her friends at the
back of the crowd and making it-was-THIS-big-I-SWEAR motions with her hands as
her friends gaped at her. She looked up, saw him, and blushed even redder than
the ticket seller. He grinned and held up his hands, shaking his head as if to
“Never you mind,” Diva laughed, licking Zero’s earlobe as she guided
him toward the coat room. “We were just leaving, anyway.”
“Well, Jesus, would you look at that? Not even an apology, when I’m
stuck out here trying to lock up and get my–” Behind them, they could hear
the girl’s voice cut off short, and the crinkling noises of wet paper. “MY
RECEIPTS! OH, GROSS!”
Zero’s eyes met Diva’s, and they both burst out laughing. All thoughts
of further adventure forgotten, they ran hand in hand for the exit.
“You waited? Oh, you didn’t have to do that!” Conan looked up from his
magazine and smiled as Cricket came out of the Trauma Ward, a compress held up
to her eye. He stood up and shrugged on his coat, and helped her ease into
“That’s okay,” he said. “I had to talk to the police when they came
by, and I didn’t want you walking home alone.” He opened the door for her into
the night, and they hustled out into the cold wind, heading for the North
“I appreciate your helping me,” Cricket said after a few moments of
silence. “I really thought he was gonna kill me.”
“What were you doing with a creep like that anyway, Cricket? You seem
like too smart a person to go getting mixed up with someone who’d jump you
“Huh! So speaks the walking beefcake magazine!” Cricket’s voice held a
trace of a sneer. “What the fuck do you know about getting trapped into doing
shit you don’t want to do, big man? Huh?”
For a brief, horribly clear instant, Conan thought of Twink. “Too damn
much,” he whispered. “Sorry. Shouldn’t have said it.”
“Damn right,” Cricket continued angrily. “I’ve seen you working out in
the gym, all pumped up and nowhere to go. All the girls looking at you and
talking about you….”
“No shit, really?” Conan grinned widely. Now THAT was an interesting
“Yeah, really! And d’you know what they’re saying?” Cricket paused for
emphasis. “They’re LAUGHING at you, you stupid motherfucker!”
“What!” He looked down at her in shock. “WHY?”
“Because you’re so fucking narcissistic it’s enough to make them puke,
that’s why! It’s so obvious, watching you pose in the mirror. The love affair
between Conan and Conan will go down in history!” She shook her head and fell
silent. Conan looked supremely uncomfortable in the silence that followed.
“I wish they could’ve seen you tonight, though,” Cricket whispered.
“Oh, shit, that wasn’t anything,” Conan said with a shrug. “He
couldn’t have hurt me if he’d tried.”
“Yes he could’ve,” Cricket said tartly. “It doesn’t take a big man to
carry a gun of a knife, Conan. You could’ve been killed! You didn’t know what
you were charging into– you just did what you thought was right, without
hesitation. He would’ve broken my nose if you’d hesitated before coming in
after him. Or worse.” She smiled up at him. “You know what your problem is?”
“Yeah,” Conan muttered. “I’m a narcissistic scumbag.”
“No, besides that,” Cricket chided with a smile.
Conan stopped and looked at her for a moment, unsmiling. “No, I don’t
know what my problem is,” he said. “Why don’t you tell me?”
Cricket reached up and gently touched Conan on the tip of the nose.
“Your problem,” she said softly, “Is that you don’t really know where your
strengths and weaknesses are. You’re not impressing anyone when you squat a
quarter ton or whatever, but you can bet that you’ll get a lot more respect
from the women in the aerobics class when they hear how you saved my ass
tonight! You’re no mean, macho hunk. You’re just a decent human being.”
“Oh, really,” he said with a wry look.
“Yeah, really,” she replied, starting to walk again. The doors to the
North Habitat loomed out of the darkness before them, and Cricket fumbled in
her pocket for her security card with one hand while trying to hold her
compress in place with the other. “Oh, damn it!”
“Here, lemme help you,” Conan said quickly, gently placing a hand over
hers on the compress. She looked up at him with her good eye for a long moment
before drawing her hand out from under his and fumbling for her card. She got
it out, and got the door open by feel as he held the compress steady.
“Thanks.” She pocketed her card and put her warm little hand over his,
taking the compress from him. She smiled up at him in the doorway. “For
“No problem,” Conan grinned. He shivered in the wind, and said, “Well,
I guess I better be getting back. It was nice meeting you, Cricket.”
“Wanna come in and warm up for a while?”
He looked at her long and hard, then shook his head. “I better not.”
“Oh, stop looking like a kicked dog and get in here, you moron!”
Cricket grabbed him with her free hand and dragged him inside. The door shut
with a clang behind him, and the night was still once more.
The Bandit awoke with a start, half sitting up in the darkness. His
eyes were utterly unaccustomed to the gloom, but he could feel rather than see
the warm presence in his bed. There was a quiet whisper in the dark.
“Oh, I’m sorry, love, I didn’t mean to wake you….”
“That’s okay, that’s okay.” The Bandit settled back down onto the bed
and ran his hands down the amazing curve of Twink’s broad back. She hummed in
delight and burrowed closer to him, warm in the cold night.
“This is really wonderful,” she breathed. “It’s so cozy.”
“Yeah,” the Bandit said. “Cozy.” He suddenly realized what had
awakened him: her hand on his penis, warm and soft, gently stroking him closer
and closer to orgasm. He was almost ready to pop. “Y’know, if you keep playing
with me like you are, I’m gonna come all over you,” he whispered.
“Oh, really?” Her giggle was low and almost liquid in the night. “Is
that so bad? I like to make you feel good….” Her inexpert hand stroked him
more roughly and insistently now, and she crawled up until her lips were level
with his, kissing him as she squeezed his penis and pumped it in her fist.
“You like?” Her mock Spanish accent was somehow fairly effective, he
noted in a haze of mixed sleepiness and horniness.
“Si, I like,” he replied, and she giggled again. “But there are other
things I like, too, and if you’re not going to let me sleep we may as well
“Oh! Well, what did you have in mind?”
He grinned in the darkness. “Ever been eaten out before?”
“Uh, I don’t think so,” she said uncertainly. “What is it, exactly?”
“What, being eaten out?” The Bandit paused, at a loss. “It’s when I,
well, uh….Tell you what. Let go of me and I’ll demonstrate, okay?”
“Okay.” Her fist released his penis, and he immediately rolled her
over onto her back and began kissing his way down her body, pausing for a few
luxuriant sucks at her huge nipples before making his way down lower. “Ohhhh,”
she moaned as he squeezed her breasts, “That feels so GOOD!”
“If you like that,” the Bandit said, “You’ll love what comes next!”
His tongue flicked out and began to touch and probe beneath her pubic hair,
and she gasped in surprise.
“Ooh! Careful, that tickles! Bandit, you can’t really want to lick
down THERE, I mean isn’t it sort of–” Her breath caught in her throat. She
took a deep breath and tried again. “It’s not too–” Her voice died again.
When she finally spoke, it was in a different tone altogether.
“Oh, please don’t stop….”
“Mmmmmmm,” the Bandit replied, his tongue teasing her rapidly-swelling
clitoris gently. There was no question but that she was primed and ready for
his attentions; her pussy lips, neat and symmetric, were oozing moisture, and
her clit was stiff and turgid. He licked and sucked on it, and drove his
tongue between her outer lips to caress the entrance to her cunt. Back and
forth, back and forth between them, listening all the while to her nonstop
“Oh! Oh! That feels heavenly! Don’t stop, PLEASE don’t stop! It feels
like I’m burning up, I’m hot and cold, I’m shaking all over, Oh gentle Jesus,
OH! OH! What is that you’re licking? More! More, oh, yes, oh, God, I–Bandit!
BANDIT! I FEEL FUNNY! I FEEL, I FEEL LIKE I’M GONNA–EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!”
Her body arched off the bed from heels to head and he rode her like a
cowboy rides a bucking bronco, his tongue never leaving her sopping vulva. She
moaned, shrieked, and gasped, her clutching hands buried in his mop of long
dark hair, holding him in place as she spent and spent.
Finally, he let go of her, and she collapsed sobbing onto the bed, her
body soaked in a thick film of sweat. “Oh, God, oh, God, I love you, oh,
Bandit, that was so, so BEAUTIFUL!” He crawled back up to join her and hugged
her hard, and she buried her face in his hair and cried.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry, it’s okay. Shhhh, don’t cry,” the Bandit
soothed her, stroking her long hair. “Please don’t cry….”
“Can’t, hic, I cuh-cuh-can’t HELP it,” Twink sobbed gustily. “It was
so, suh-suh-so BEAUTIFUL, I cuh-c-c-can’t help crying, uh, oh, I LOVE you!”
She cried even harder, and the Bandit didn’t know what else to do but to hold
her close and rock her gently until her sobs gradually died away and she
relaxed against him, kissing his neck. “Oh thank you, thank you….”
“Uh, you’re welcome,” the Bandit said uncomfortably. “Are you sure
you’re all right? I mean, I’ve never had anyone start crying on me before.”
“Oh, I’m feeling wonderful,” Twink sighed, grabbing a fistful of
toilet paper from the roll the Bandit kept by the bed and blowing her nose
with a honk. “I couldn’t help it, it felt so good I just had to cry. Was, was
that an orgasm?”
“Uh, I think so,” the Bandit said soothingly, smiling despite himself.
“If it wasn’t, when you finally have one it’ll probably kill you!”
“Mmmmm, but what a way to die!” Twink laughed and ran her hand back
down his chest to his penis, which was just as stiff as ever. “My turn to make
you feel good, now,” she breathed, sliding down his body and kissing his chest
as he’d kissed hers.
The Bandit suddenly recalled what she’d said about Conan. “Uh, Twink,
are you sure you want to do that? There are other ways….”
“Mmmmm, shut up, Bandit,” came her voice from somewhere under the
covers. “I love you, and I want to make you feel as good as I do….” The
Bandit’s whole body tensed as a long, wet tongue licked its way down the
underside of his penis and gently kissed his balls, then travelled back up to
the head. “You like?”
“Uh, uh-huh,” he managed.
“Oh, good,” she replied, “Because I don’t feel like stopping! It
tastes so gooommmmbbllmmmmph……” The Bandit began thrusting his hips up off
the bed as her moist, warm mouth enveloped him and gently sucked him in. She
teased him with tiny nips and rolled her tongue obscenely over the head of his
penis as if trying to lick a lollipop to death in under three minutes. As
excited as he was, it was no time at all before the Bandit was feeling himself
tense up under an impending orgasm.
Twink, feeling him tense, stopped her labors for a moment. “Are you
all right? Am I hurting you?”
“Oh, God, DON’T STOP NOW, I’M COMING!”
“Oops! Sorry! Glmmmmm….MMMM! MMMM! MMMMMM! Mmmmmmmmmmm….”
“UH! UNGH! UH! UH! OH! UH! Uhhhhhhhhhhh….”
Twink swallowed and swallowed again, downing every drop of hot, thick
semen he gave her. She got up on her hands and knees and looked up at him,
licking the last bits of sticky come from her lips. “How was that?”
“Oh, god,” the Bandit moaned. “I’m dying….”
Twink laughed lightly and snuggled up next to him, kissing him deeply.
The mixture of sweat, pussy juice and semen in the kiss was indescribable. The
Bandit broke the kiss, and muttered, “So much for a night without doing
“I don’t mind a bit,” Twink said, yawning. “I’m so sleepy all of a
“S’okay, me too,” the Bandit mumbled. “Sleep well.”
“Shhh,” Zero whispered as he opened the door to his room slightly. “I
just need to get fresh clothes, and I don’t want to wake anyone up.”
“Okay,” Diva said softly, tiptoeing into the living room with him. The
door to Conan and the Wiz’s room was ajar, and Conan was stretched out on his
bed under the covers, snoring like a steam engine.
“Him, we won’t waken,” Zero laughed, shutting the door. “But the
Bandit’s a light sleeper, so….”
He eased the door to the bedroom he shared with the Bandit, and both
he and Diva simultaneously smelled the familiar odor of sex. Zero peeked
inside. The first thing he saw was the rumpled blue nightgown on the floor.
Diva gasped; the first thing she saw was Twink’s gorgeous back, half uncovered
by the blankets.
Zero looked at Diva. Diva looked at Zero. Their astonishment was
comical. Quickly Zero reached into his closet and grabbed fresh clothes, and
they backed out of the room and shut the door.
“That was TWINK in there with him, wasn’t it?”
“Hard to say, I’ve never seen Twink naked before.”
“Oh, come on, I’m serious! The BANDIT, and TWINK?”
“Hey, she’s been gunning for him for months, and I have to admit that
what I saw didn’t look too bad….”
“That’s enough of that, mister,” Diva said sharply. “You’re spoken
“No problem,” Zero said amiably. “Just commenting, that’s all.”
The outer door closed, cutting off their voices. The Bandit smiled,
his eyes still shut, and drifted back to sleep.
The breakfast table was abuzz with conversation when the Bandit came
out of the hot food line with his tray in his hand. He’d sent Twink off to
shower and dress with a kiss, and had promised to meet her at the breakfast
table, but she wasn’t there yet. Zero, Diva, Conan, Bone, Thud, Plaids, and
a young blonde girl he’d never seen before were sitting at the table. When
they saw the Bandit, there was an uncomfortable pause, conversation dying down
as the Bandit set his tray down.
“What’s everyone looking at me for,” he asked pleasantly.
Conan looked at him with a big grin, and waggled a finger at him. “Na,
na ne NA na! Na, na ne NA na!” Pretty soon the whole table was doing it, and
the Bandit just sat down, shaking his head and grinning.
“So how was she?”
“Getting a bit desperate, are we?”
“Any port in a storm, I guess….”
“Yes, but is she ‘port’?”
“All right, ALL RIGHT!” The Bandit waved them all to silence. “I have
only this to say. It was not an act of desperation. Okay?”
The laughter redoubled at that. “Prove it,” Thud said mildly.
“Okay, I will,” the Bandit said with a smile. Keep your promise,
Twink, he thought to himself. Don’t wimp out on me, please? It’s a stupid
thing to have to do, but it’ll make my life so much easier….
“How?” Bone challenged.
“Well, it’s easy enough, when–Ah, hello, sweetheart!” The Bandit
stood up and pulled up a chair beside him for Twink as she entered the room.
Thud’s eyebrows went north for the winter. Conan’s jaw hit his tray,
and Cricket elbowed him in the ribs. Bone’s eyes nearly popped out of his
head, and Plaids nervously took off his glasses and began to polish them
furiously. Twink had told the Bandit that she’d owned one set of clothes that
he’d probably consider “sexy,” and had agreed to his request that she wear
them to breakfast. And sexy she was, in a clinging silk jumpsuit that was
unzipped halfway to her waist. She’d foregone the bra for the meal, too.
“Good morning, love,” she said huskily, slipping into the Bandit’s
arms and doing her best Diva-kissing-Zero imitation. She then sat down beside
him, and said with a bright smile, “Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!”
“Uh, Twink, that’s, uh, that’s quite an outfit you’ve got there,”
Conan ventured. Cricket looked over at him, one eyebrow raised.
The Bandit had coached Twink on that eventuality, though; she didn’t
even look up. “Eat your heart out, thumbdick,” she said, opening her napkin.
Cricket almost spat up her milk laughing. “You, I like,” she said with
a grin. “I’m Cricket. You must be Twink!”
“The one and only,” Twink replied. “What happened to your eye?”
“HEY! HEY, EVERYONE! LISTEN!”
All heads turned about as Lanky came running in, obviously in a panic.
The Bandit stood up and made shushing motions with both hands. “Take it easy,
Lank. What’s the matter?”
“It’s Livewire.” Lanky’s face was ashen. “The police came and took him
away last night. It looked like they’d beaten him half to death.”